It breaks my heart...

I've been absent and for that I apologize faithful blog reader(s), but life has been well, crazy.  I mentioned sleep issues in my last post...which was like a month ago, and we're still in that same situation...just with new twists and turnsies.

2 weeks ago we dealt with H1N1 hitting our house.  I came down with it first and I have to say, I'm pretty thankful for that.  I came down with cold like symptoms on Wednesday.  By Thursday night when I had Emma at tumbling, I thought it could get no worse.  I had horrible, horrible aches and I could not warm up to save my life.  I went to bed at 7:30 that night with four blankets on me and 3 sweatshirts on.  It was bad.  BUT, the next day when I got up I felt as if I could function, sort of.  I kept Emma home from school because I felt horrible and she said she just wasn't feeling well either.  I figure, she's in preschool, it's ok if she misses one day.  Through the night Friday night, Madelyn woke up and was burning up.  Her fever was literally 104.  I took her to the doctors first thing in the AM and she tested positive almost immediately for H1N1 (notice I just can not call it swine flu?  I wanna oink everytime!).  They prescribed tamiflu and since she has the risk of respiratory crap, they told me to give her breathing treatments twice a day for 5 days.  She had the same cycle of sickness that I did.  One day of wanting to do absolutely NOTHING and then the next day she felt somewhat better.  Sunday through the night, Emma woke up burning up.  The doctor told me just to call when she got it and he'd prescribe her tamiflu.  Amazingly enough, Darik never got it!  He was gone a lot for work but when he was home he bathed in hand sanitizer and he wouldn't sleep in bed with me.  Knock on wood, I hope he doesn't somehow come down with it later on down the road.  It was horrible.

Only other big thing going on right now is with Emma.  That's the main reason I just haven't been around much, save my creative teams.  About 3 weeks ago they put her on attarax.  Anxiety meds.  If you know Emma, you know she's always been my high maintenance child.  She was colicky as a baby, she had horrible, horrible separation anxiety, she needs her routine, she needs to be coddled a little more than most kids, and well, she doesn't adjust well to change.  It's never been anything I really worried about but lately, it's gotten out of control.  Her OCD tendencies are really becoming apparent.  Bedtime is such a strict routine that if we even sort of stray from it, she's ruined.  She has these horrible, horrible irrational fears.  In fact, just tonight she told me that she didn't want to close her eyes to go to sleep because she has bad dreams.  :(  Seriously?  That makes me feel like a piece of poo.  Something is obviously wrong with her, and I can't help her.  She isn't ever with anyone but me so I don't think there's abuse or anything going on somewhere but things are progressively getting worse instead of better.  Example.  We were at the mall last weekend with my mom.  There was an expo in the middle of the mall and there was a Tigger that was walking around for one of the booths.  Emma saw him and FLIPPED.  Everywhere we walked she was looking over her shoulder and crying every time she thought she saw him.  It got so bad that we had to leave the mall.  She's afraid of everything and I'm afraid it's going to get to the point where she's afraid to leave the house.  Panic attacks are not fun, I've been there, and that is the last thing I want for my baby.  The attarax has helped with some of the sleep issues, but she slowly is creeping back up to getting up 2 and 3 times a night...not fun at all.  I was supposed to wait it out a month and see if it helped, and it did at first, but now we're pretty much right back to where we were.  I've tried talking to her and she just doesn't want to talk about it.  I seriously could just cry all day about it.  I hate that my baby's broken and I can't fix it.

Madelyn's sleep issues are totally my fault.  I guess they aren't really issues, but I always swore I'd never let my child sleep in my bed with me.  Well, you guessed it, Madelyn is sleeping in bed with us.  She starts off in her crib but by about 12:30 every night, she's in bed with us.  It's not so bad most nights but some nights she just kicks and tosses and turns horrible.  I really need to fix it before we leave for our cruise in February!

Other than that, not a whole lot is going on.  Emma has decided she hates tumbling so she's done with that on Monday.  We're going to try dance once the New Year comes around.

Tomorrow we're having a birthday party for Skylar and then Darik and I are going to see New Moon and get a little Christmas shopping done.  The girls are pretty much done, now it's just everyone else. 

Anyway, until next time...

10.29 FOBTY

My favorite candy is a major toss up between reese's peanut butter cups and butterfinger's.  I'm not much of a straight chocolate fan but when it's paired with something....mmmmmM!

holy snot

so, I haven't blogged because well, who wants to listen to me complain about the same shizz all the time :D  We're still dealing with sleep issues with both girls but we're surviving.  The real reason I'm blogging is because I was looking back at photos today...

I've finally began to level off as far as the weight goes.  I'm lingering around the same 5 pounds and have been for about a month and a half now.  Nothing wrong with that, I'm TOTALLY happy with where I'm at.  just wanna put that all into perspective.



Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing
wow.

10/22 FOBTY

Yah, this is why I am in the situation I am now LOL

Your Autumn Sense is Taste

It's pretty simple... you love fall because it's the most delicious time of the year. From Halloween candy to Thanksgiving leftovers, there's always a culinary treat right around the corner for you. You also enjoy the smaller seasonal foods of fall - a pumpkin latte, apple crisp, or butternut squash soup. You wait all year for your fall food favorites to return, and you're going to savor every single one of them!

What's Your Autumn Sense?

Blogthings: 100's of Fun, Free Quizzes and 3 Stupid Ones

It's a new dawn...it's a new day...

The girls slept...most of the night last night!!!  YAY!  We decided that instead of letting Emma use her "noisy" (one of those noise machines with rain falling, nature noises, etc.) that she's used since she was a baby, that we'd let her have her TV on.  I know, we're replacing one bad habit with another, BUT Darik sleeps with the TV on and she always wants to be like Daddy.  I had had a discussion with her earlier in the day and I asked her why she hasn't been sleeping.  The truth finally came out.  She's afraid that the house is going to catch on fire and she's afraid of bats. :(  So, last night I let her blow out the candle (therefore, no fire) and we sprayed her room with "bat spray" ( a lil' Febreeze).  She woke up once at 12:30 because something happened with her TV, the channel changed when it was upgrading and she must have gotten up and noticed.  I went upstairs and turned Noggin/Nick Jr back on for her and she slept until 6:30 this morning!  Madelyn woke up at 4:30 but she only cried for a couple minutes and it's now 7 AM and she's still sleeping!  I gotta say...it's amazing what a lil' sleep does for someone!

Yesterday we had a dentist appointment.  Emma's teeth looked great and she didn't even cry this time.  She actually laughed when they "tickled her teeth."  Momma however has a cavity.  I swear, these children have killed my teeth.  I have to go back tomorrow morning to get it filled. 

Darik has decided that he needs to lose some weight.  He's got hooorrrible knees so he wants to get some weight off to ease the pain.  He started South Beach again yesterday so I'm hoping he's successful.  I seriously think he just wants to get some weight off for the cruise ;)

Today is a lazy day.  I need to catch up on some scrapping and what not so that's that.  Keep your fingers crossed that the sleep keeps up!!

Until next time...

a hot mess...

The title pretty much sums it up.  The girls both have not been sleeping.  Last night Emma was up at 10:30 and then from pretty much 1:30 until 4:00 when Darik snapped.  Add to that Madelyn waking up crying at 3:30 and you've got the situation in our house right now.  I seriously have no idea what to do.  I have taken all of Emma's toys out of her room.  The only thing she has are her bed, her dresser, her TV (which I can monitor) and her books.  I have told her that she will not be going to tumbling tonight because she can't sleep.  I'm going to talk to her teacher today to see if she's been acting differently at school.  I just am done.  I'm so tired.  I cry at everything.  I yell at the kids.  I don't want to do anything but sleep...which I obviously can't do...I'm just done.  Darik got up at 3:30 and came undone with Emma.  It did NOTHING.  Madelyn cried in her crib for an hour, fell asleep for an hour and then woke back up.  So, here it is 6:30 in the morning and I have slept maybe 12 hours in the past 4 nights.  I'm hoping someone reading this can help me because I'm out of options at this point.  I'm going to crash or meltdown and hard.  I apologize for seeming as if I'm in a hopeless situation but at this point, that's what it seems like.  February 17th can not come fast enough.

Saturday night we went to one of Darik's friends for a hayrack ride.  We didn't ride the rack because it was freezing and nothing about that seemed fun to us.  So, we hung out at the house until everyone got back (there were other people there also) and sat around and BSed until about 1 AM (not a good idea given the current sleep situation in the house but hey).  It was so nice to go out and just sit and chat with friends we don't see often.  I seriously have not gone out like that in probably 2 years.

Today we have to take back the carpet cleaner to the hardware store by 9 AM, then Emma and I have dentist appointments at 10:30.  I'll drop Emma and Karly off at school about noon and then hopefully I'll get to catch a quick nap while Madelyn (hopefully) naps.

We booked our cruise...I think I failed to mention that. LOL  We're leaving out of Mobile, AL on February 18th and we'll be going to Cozumel and then back to Mobile on the 22nd.  We're going to drive down there so we'll actually be leaving early on the 17th.  Thankfully our parents are willing to watch the girls for us.  I seriously can not wait.  Darik and I have never taken a vacation together so it'll be nice on so many levels.

Ok, I'm done.  I'm rambly and that's never good for anyone.

Until next time...

HUUUGE sale

Not only is Amy having a huge sale but Scrap Orchard in general is! Make sure you check it out. Once this sale is over, they're gone forever! Don't miss it!