friggin' full moon

you know me, you know that madelyn is my rapscallion.  she's sassy, she's mean, well, she's a lot like me, let's be honest.  the past couple days she has just been out of control.  the mouth, the attitude, the way she treats others....yes, she's 3, but that's no excuse.

she started off the day talking, like she always does, but it never tapered off.  ever.  she was either spinning or bouncing off the walls (literally) or asking questions or running after the dog, at one point, she even dressed the dog up in her dress up clothes.  i handled it all in stride....until we were getting ready for bed and she kicked the dog...and laughed.  i snapped.  we had JUST discussed 2 days ago that we don't kick the dog, how would she like it if i kicked her for no reason.  you get the picture.    so, that recent discussion coupled with the way she'd been acting all day and the fact that poor emma was trying to tell me she was sick, just, i snapped.  i spanked her.  i spanked her out of anger.  now, i didn't spank her hard, but i don't spank.  i scared her more than anything, but damn it, she needed to know this kind of behavior is NOT acceptable.  the past 2 days have been HORRIBLE for her and i honestly don't know if i can take another one.  darik leaves in the am and well, she may just be spending a lot of time in her room.  i just don't know what to do with her anymore.

i feel bad for emma because she sees me get mad at madelyn and then she thinks i'm mad at her as well....blah.  i don't lose my temper with them often, yes, i yell at her for doing things she shouldn't and what not, but i rarely come unglued.

today was that day.

and i feel horrible about it.

*sigh*