Ugh, this SUCKS

Alright. I'm hating life the past couple days. I found out that the pain I was having was scar tissue forming around the largest incision site. Cherrish told me that if it wasn't better by Friday I needed to come in and see Dr. Joyce. Well, it was better even the next day, but now, my body is rejecting the multi-vitamins! It started Tuesday night. I thought I was just drinking too much water when I swallowed my pills but it's so much worse than that. As soon as I take the multi-vitamin, I have to run to the bathroom. I'm guessing this is what they call "dumping." My chest gets SUPER tight, and I have this uncontrollable urge to throw up, and I'm not a person to throw up easily. I emailed Cherrish again this morning (she's got to hate me! LOL) and she told me that I can quit taking them for now and she'll bring me some chewables on Christmas to her mom's house. Can I just say THANK GOD?! The past few days have just been horrible. I can't eat anything because it comes right back up because the multi-vitamin isn't agreeing with me. I feel horrible for the girls, especially Emma, because I can't sit with them for about a 1/2 hour after I take it because I have to be next to the toilet. I'm so glad that there's a solution for it though. I'm so sick of being sick.

Tonight is Grandma's wake. I know it's going to be absolutely horrible. Lynn went over to Mom's last night to help her get some pictures together for the collage thingie, and Lynn couldn't even look at the pictures. She was just a wreck. That's going to so cause a chain reaction for me. I cried the morning I found out but haven't really grieved since then. I know seeing everyone and talking about it is just going to get me bawling. I have this horrible, horrible guilt as it is because I didn't take the girls to go see her as often as I should...there's just so much I regret with this. And why is it that all of my grandparents pass away this time of year? It's just not right. I'm really glad that I have a babysitter for the girls too. Emma would have five thousand questions, and I really don't want to explain death to a 3 year old. She's so emotional too, if she saw all of us crying, she'd be so distraught. Lisa is furious. My Aunt Linda, well, she's technically not my aunt anymore, but you know what I mean, wrote the obituary, and she put Lisa's husband as Steve...not Jimmy. Now, she's been married to Jimmy for what, 7 years now? Steve even gave up his parental rights for Kyle. Seriously. Could she not ask? She spelled Darik's name wrong too. I can just see a brawl going tonight. Typical Maland drama, I swear.

Well, I need to go try to eat something and make myself presentable.....