Saturday, November 21, 2009

It breaks my heart...

I've been absent and for that I apologize faithful blog reader(s), but life has been well, crazy.  I mentioned sleep issues in my last post...which was like a month ago, and we're still in that same situation...just with new twists and turnsies.

2 weeks ago we dealt with H1N1 hitting our house.  I came down with it first and I have to say, I'm pretty thankful for that.  I came down with cold like symptoms on Wednesday.  By Thursday night when I had Emma at tumbling, I thought it could get no worse.  I had horrible, horrible aches and I could not warm up to save my life.  I went to bed at 7:30 that night with four blankets on me and 3 sweatshirts on.  It was bad.  BUT, the next day when I got up I felt as if I could function, sort of.  I kept Emma home from school because I felt horrible and she said she just wasn't feeling well either.  I figure, she's in preschool, it's ok if she misses one day.  Through the night Friday night, Madelyn woke up and was burning up.  Her fever was literally 104.  I took her to the doctors first thing in the AM and she tested positive almost immediately for H1N1 (notice I just can not call it swine flu?  I wanna oink everytime!).  They prescribed tamiflu and since she has the risk of respiratory crap, they told me to give her breathing treatments twice a day for 5 days.  She had the same cycle of sickness that I did.  One day of wanting to do absolutely NOTHING and then the next day she felt somewhat better.  Sunday through the night, Emma woke up burning up.  The doctor told me just to call when she got it and he'd prescribe her tamiflu.  Amazingly enough, Darik never got it!  He was gone a lot for work but when he was home he bathed in hand sanitizer and he wouldn't sleep in bed with me.  Knock on wood, I hope he doesn't somehow come down with it later on down the road.  It was horrible.

Only other big thing going on right now is with Emma.  That's the main reason I just haven't been around much, save my creative teams.  About 3 weeks ago they put her on attarax.  Anxiety meds.  If you know Emma, you know she's always been my high maintenance child.  She was colicky as a baby, she had horrible, horrible separation anxiety, she needs her routine, she needs to be coddled a little more than most kids, and well, she doesn't adjust well to change.  It's never been anything I really worried about but lately, it's gotten out of control.  Her OCD tendencies are really becoming apparent.  Bedtime is such a strict routine that if we even sort of stray from it, she's ruined.  She has these horrible, horrible irrational fears.  In fact, just tonight she told me that she didn't want to close her eyes to go to sleep because she has bad dreams.  :(  Seriously?  That makes me feel like a piece of poo.  Something is obviously wrong with her, and I can't help her.  She isn't ever with anyone but me so I don't think there's abuse or anything going on somewhere but things are progressively getting worse instead of better.  Example.  We were at the mall last weekend with my mom.  There was an expo in the middle of the mall and there was a Tigger that was walking around for one of the booths.  Emma saw him and FLIPPED.  Everywhere we walked she was looking over her shoulder and crying every time she thought she saw him.  It got so bad that we had to leave the mall.  She's afraid of everything and I'm afraid it's going to get to the point where she's afraid to leave the house.  Panic attacks are not fun, I've been there, and that is the last thing I want for my baby.  The attarax has helped with some of the sleep issues, but she slowly is creeping back up to getting up 2 and 3 times a night...not fun at all.  I was supposed to wait it out a month and see if it helped, and it did at first, but now we're pretty much right back to where we were.  I've tried talking to her and she just doesn't want to talk about it.  I seriously could just cry all day about it.  I hate that my baby's broken and I can't fix it.

Madelyn's sleep issues are totally my fault.  I guess they aren't really issues, but I always swore I'd never let my child sleep in my bed with me.  Well, you guessed it, Madelyn is sleeping in bed with us.  She starts off in her crib but by about 12:30 every night, she's in bed with us.  It's not so bad most nights but some nights she just kicks and tosses and turns horrible.  I really need to fix it before we leave for our cruise in February!

Other than that, not a whole lot is going on.  Emma has decided she hates tumbling so she's done with that on Monday.  We're going to try dance once the New Year comes around.

Tomorrow we're having a birthday party for Skylar and then Darik and I are going to see New Moon and get a little Christmas shopping done.  The girls are pretty much done, now it's just everyone else. 

Anyway, until next time...

3 comments:

Faye said...

Oh, hon, I am so sincerely sorry that things are not getting better. I wish I had some idea of what it could be, or what to try, but I just don't know what to say other than I wish I had an 'easy' button for you, and I am always here if you need an ear, shoulder, whatev! *hugs to you all*

Kara said...

Laura!! I had no idea you were having such a hard time with Emma! I'm sorry, I really hope things get better for the both of you, and soon (((hugs)))

Tami Miller said...

I hope you and Emma are doing better. H1N1 is no fun. Hope she gets over her anxiety problems.